oh the mysteries of boys and girls...

It is considered common knowledge that guys are not as emotional as girls. This I would have to say is for the most part very true. When I say true, I mean it in outward appearance atleast. When girls like a guy, and then their dreams of him are stomped on, they tend to make it pretty obvious that they are upset. On the other hand, if a guy is in the same situation as the girl was in, with his hopes of being with a girl that he has been crushing on completely shattered, what is their response? Well, half the time, I honestly do not know, since they express no different emotion then they do from day to day.

So this really brings us to an interesting thought: Are guys truly just less emotional than girls? I mean, if they show less emotion, you would think that would also mean less emotion. Or is there really more behind this? Could they possibly have the same capacity for emotion and simply be choosing not to express it? And would this refusal of expression be a cause of what is considered normal in society? Maybe by showing more emotion, men fear they might not be considered straight. Or maybe it is not the fear of a gay accusation, but more so to show to the world that they are strong, and composed men. They just want everyone to think they have it together, and not even the tough things can get them down. Then again maybe it is that simple solution, of guys simply just not having as abig of an emotional range as girls do. So what is it, less emotional, or hidden feelings?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

It was the best of times..

We are in our senior year of high school, and we are almost done with it.

We are enjoying all of our friends and sports, and everything else that we are able to enjoy while we are here.

We do not have to pay rent or insurance, because our parents do that for us.

We get to focus alot of our time on just being able to have fun, and not have to deal with things such as bills and a job.

We are looking forward to college and life ahead of us.

We are enjoying our youth, by being able to use all of our energy that we will not have so much of when we are older.

We do not have to deal with children and parental responsibilities.

We are able to mess up, and just learn from it and move on.

We are old enough to have enough independance, yet still the comfort of our parents.

We have a many years of life to look forward to.

It was the worst of times...

We are almost done with highschool.

We are leaving a comfort zone that we have been in for the past thirteen years of our lives.

We are will be leaving friends soon, as we are all going different directions for college.

We do not have the ability to do whatever we want whenever we want.

We are still under our parents control.

We do not have much time left to just have fun.

We are all worrying about the future, leaving us no time to enjoy the present.

We become stressed with trying to balance homework, fun, and getting ready for college.

We find ourselves thinking about how everything is changing, and we have no control over it, leaving us helpless.

We only have years of adulthood to look forward to, leaving our happy youthful, carefree years behind us.

reflective walk

For my walk I decided to go at night, since that is when i felt like a walk would be good. Luckily for me it was not too cold out. As i was walking around Normandy Park, I took pictures mainly of places that have many memories. I have lived here for the past six years of my life, and as of next fall who knows where I will be. It just started to get me thinking about my childhood really. Looking back on everything was pretty refreshing actually. I hadn't done something like that in awhile, and it put me in a good mood. I had also forgotten how much I really like going on walks by myself.

With the new year here, it is hard not to think about everything really. Where I am right now, how many finals I am going to have to get through, how many essays I am going to have to write before I can graduate. Then thinking about actually getting through all the school work and being finished, then brings me to where I am going to decide to go next fall. Who knows where I will be at next year. Once that is figured out, am I going to have a good roomate? Will I Make new friends? Will I be able to stay in touch with my high schools friends? How am I going to pay for it? So many hard decisions in this coming year, but at the same time comes so many opportunities. I am going to be graduating, moving out of the house, starting a new adventure, living in a new place, a new school, new people to meet. A new chapter of my life that is something to look forward to. Being able to really make my own decisions; supporting myself; independance. It all seems like it is actually coming now; it isn't just a dream of the future,off in the distance, still too far away from my grasp. I can almost touch it now. As it comes closer, I become more excited to finally take ahold of my future and just take off running as fast as I can with it. It will be all mine, and no one can stop me; no one can catch me. But then there are these moments when I am on my own, thinking of all the possibilities of where I will take myself, and I remember all that I am leaving behind; all that i have been through up to this point in my life. I look back and see all the good and bad moments in my life, all the people who were there with me, and how they have shaped my life, my future, and me.

This walk simply brought about thoughts and memories that I have been thinking about quite alot lately these days. It's hard to say what emotion I truly feel when I rework through all these thoughts, every time hoping for a clearer answer, though I always seem to be torn between everything; never seeing my path clearly. I honestly am not sure when I will start to truly feel like I am putting everything together how it is supposed to be, because I have know idea what that is supposed to look like. I guess I am just contemplative at this point, hoping everything will turn out for the best.