Hamlet Playlist

1) Hot Mess- Cobra Starship


-how hamlet is a "hot mess" and ophelia has completely fallen for him


2)Fifteen-Taylor Swift


-not that we know how old ophelia is, but how she believed hamlet loved her, even though he later tells her he didn't


3)You've Got a Friend in Me- Toy Story Soundtrack


-Hamlet and Horatio's friendship


4)White Horse- Taylor Swift


-how ophelia realizes that sheisn't a princess, that it isn't a fairy tale, and that her prince isn't going to come and sweep her off her feet


5)Cowboy Casanova- Carrie Underwood

-Polonious and laertes telling Ophelia to watch out about Hamlet



6)Hot n' Cold- Katy Perry

-How Hamlet acts towards Ophelia

7)Over My head- The Fray

-Hamlet feels like he is in over his head, with having to take revenge on his uncle

8)Telephone- Lady Gaga, beyonce

-Laertes and Ophelia being annoyed with Polonious always trying to check up on them

9)Bad Romance- Lady Gaga

-Ophelia still wanting Hamlet even though it is a "Bad Romance"

10)I Don't Hook Up- Kelly Clarkson

-When Ophelia tells Hamlet he can't lay in her lap

"to eat or not to eat"

To eat or not to eat, that is the question:
Is it better to deal with all the nasty weight
that food brings our way, or to conquer that weight
by not feeding your belly? To not eat, simply not
putting food down your throat, for that's all that
would be, and ending all the bloating and pant sizes
we gain-now that would be something to wish for.
To not eat, to not consume- ah but here's the catch,
by not eating one can become unhealthy and in turn
become too thin. That is certainly something to worry
about. That consideration is what keeps us eating.
After all, who would put up with all the
long stares, awkward glares, snickering boys,
rudely giggling skinny girls, when you could stop eating
and end all the fatty jokes? Who would choose to drag
their fat selves along through a life of Big Macs and
intense sweating from walking the short distancefrom your
car to your desk, unless they were scared of something else?
Afraid of not eating those delicious dollar mcdoubles
and golden, lightly salted, french fries. Afraid that
they would miss the joy that comes when they set
their eye on that heavenly,chocolate fudge sunday.
The fear of losing these tasty treats in our lives is what
makes us fatties, and our natural metabolism becomes
weak from us shoving twinkies down our throat. Any form
of fitness that might have been carried out is out of mind,
because we are too focused on our kankles, in turn
depressing us and leaving us to eat our feelings.

hero's cycle - companions/trials

Life is moving so fast right now. I feel like everyhting has changed this year, and still is in the process of changing. I feel like this is evident in most aspects of my life, but more so in the relationships with the people around me.
Coming back to school for senior year, i had high hopes for what would transpire. And honestly, those high hopes have no where been near to how this year is going so far. Everyone has changed since last year. I'm not saying everyone is changing for the worst, they just changed, or are in thre process of changing. With these changes, some friend groups have changed. I'm pretty much still friends with all the same people, but not all of them are really still my friends. The atmosphere is just different now. It is uncomfortable;uncomfortable because we are all trying to adjust to these differences. Though they may be slight, it is still almost unsettling. I felt so close with certain people last year, that i feel so distanced from this year. I try and put on a smile as i walk by them in the hall, a sarcastic remark in class, or jokes here and there at the lunch table, but i just don't feel those same connections anymore. Something is in the connections have altered.like We are being slowly pulled apart from eachother,and i have no control over it. It's like gravity is pulling them further away from me, slowly out of my reach. Why can't i hold on? Or can i hold on? I feel like if it keeps going like this, i'm going to lose hold of what connections i have. I could lose grasp, and i don't like thinking of what that will mean for the future.
There are a couple of people who don't have that changed and uncomfortable feeling about them, one who sticks out atleast. We have been there for eachother, through some interesting situations over the past year specifically, and all through highschool really. But because of some changes, i do feel distanced from her this year. I am being pulled in two directions all at once. I am basically under shared custody, having to split my time as evenly as possible between two people. It may sound so silly, but even picking where i sit in certain settings has to be monitored and evenly divided through a week. Who i talk to in the hall, who i sit by at lunch, every time i choose to do anything, i have to pick one over the other. It's emotionally draining. It may sound like i am being hard on myself, but i know each decision affects atleast one of the two, though i'm sure it affects both.
About a year ago, this would not even be close to an issue. All three of us were pretty much inseperable. That's why this is so heart breaking. Seeing the two of them together in one spot is so hard to watch now. When i am with one of them, as i see the other looking at us, i can see her hurting. It kills me to watch my best friend whose been by my side for so long feel excluded, as if she can not come up and join because she feels uncomfortable and unwanted by the other. Even when they are together, i can feel the tension. Sure, sometimes it is better than others, but those times feel somewhat like a facade. It is not even close to the way it used to be. I am being torn up emotionally all over the place. I have tried so hard to fix it, but i am starting to believe i can't. It is the worse to have to watch all this hurt and suffering, and feel this hurt and suffering, and not be able to do anything about it. I have no control over the situation. I can just encourage reconcilitaion as often as possible. One hopes for it as well, the other undecided. The undecided hurts the one with hope; the longer she waits, the more the other hurts; the further i am torn;the more pain i feel for the hurt; the harder it is to encourage her; the harder it is to understand the undecided;the more i am concerned about the outcome. What if there is no reconciliation? Will this be the rest of my senior year? Will I be under shared custody until college? I'm scared i will begin to despise them for pulling me back and forth constantly. How long can i hold in the middle? Will i have to choose one for my own emotional stability? Should i just detach my self from the both of them, and slowly drift away from our attachments?I could just choose neither of them. I would not have to worry about who i sat by, or talked to, or had lunch with. That could be my easy way out, to just not care anymore; not make it my problem. But i know i can not do that. It would not be fair to them, and i care about them too much. I have made it this far on not giving up, i can't leave now. I just don't know how i am going to be able to keep this up as it tears me up so much.
Everything is off relationally this year. My friends mean so much to me, which i always thought to be a good thing. But now i have to wonder, because i consider my friendships to be so important, is that what is going to ruin me this year? Sadly, i can only leave it up for time to tell.

Love a Grendel

1) I cleaned the entire house for my mom this weekend. this may not sound like a big deal, but if you know me i absolutely hate cleaning up the house. This may make me sound really lazy, but there are six people and two dogs in my house, and it can get pretty messy. Imagine all those dishes, it really sucks. And to make it even worse, our dish washer is broken right now, so you have to hand wash everything!So this really was kind of a stretch for me.But she seems to be in a bad mood alot, and constantly complains about the house being a mess, so I did the dishes, swepted, swiffered, did laundry, and i even cleaned up after the dogs, which is quite awful. That part i wish i didn't do. if you know my dogs you know the mess is pretty bad.
2) I chose her because she seemed like she needed it the most this weekend. Plus i couldn't really think of any grendels, cause my mom probably isn't really much of one anyways. I personally could not think of any grendels in my life though. I like to think i get along with most people and I am actually proud to say i could not think of a true grendel in my life.
3)Cleaning the house was something i knew she would appreciate and give her less to stress about. I know i hate cleaning, and it is pretty obvious that she hates it too.
4)I don't really have much evidence, but she seemed to be in a pretty good mood sunday night.

Beowulf journaling

What is a grendel? Someone who is mean, maybe shunned, or someone you don't get along with. But why don't we get along with these people? Do we just disagree on things? Or are we not interested in the same things? But this doesn't really explain why this person is a grendel in peoples lives. I mean, I get along well with people who fit under those categories. I feel like there are some people who are just simply mean. No matter the situation, they are pretty much in a bad mood. No matter how nicely you ask them a question, they always spat some maliciousness back in your face. No matter how genuine you are, they ridicule you. My simple, yet somehow complex question- why? Why are these people so cruel? Shouldn't there be a simple explanation? But I do not understand why they have to be this way. Why would they respond to people in these ways? Do they not see that they get a negative reaction from it? That's why it has to be deeper than that. We do not know why, and that is why we are to continually do right by them, even though we expect the same awful reactions. It seems so unfair, which is why i like to hope there is a reason for it. Maybe that person has a bad home life, or has/was always shunned or rejected. I am not trying to justify their grendel qualities and actions, but maybe see life from their perspective. Writing this all down here is one thing, but actually applying it is another. It can be so hard to continually try and care for people who constantly reject you. Maybe they just want you to leave them alone. How do you know how close to the line they want you to come? By just leaving them alone, would you be proving there point of not caring, or would you just be pissing them off by pestering them? So i guess i really have to questions, how and why?

Nuggets don't come with band aids...right?

So, when we were told to write any thing we want for our nugget today, obviously i automatically thought Mcdonalds chicken nuggets, which brought up a pretty disturbing story.

It was after our first league soccer game against Orting, which most of you know did not turn out so well. So to cheer ourselves up, where did we go to get a bite to eat? Yes, Mcdonalds.
Well if you know me, whenever i have more than two or three dollars on me, i got for the ten piece nugget meal, which is a bit more on the spendy side for Mcdonalds. So naturally, i was pretty excited, along with very hungry due to the fact we just played a game in intensely hott weather (probably eighties?) and i hadn't eaten since before i drained all my energy. So naturally when i got my meal i pretty much started devouring it as soon as the Mcdy's employee placed the bag in my hands.
We all got back in the car, and were on our way when as i was reacjing for some fries at the bottom of my bag ( cause they always fall out, ya know?) i noticed something quite unsettling. yes, based on the title of this nugget, sadly you've guessed it, a band aid. And not just any normal used band aid, no, there was about an inch long, black, hair attached to it. I slowly turned to Hibby, calmed my self, and quietly asked, "Were you wearing a band aid?" She looked at me like i was on something and quickly replied in the negative. I asked the same question to my sister and taylor, both with simialr responses, expect that Taylor had been wearing a band aid on her ear, but it was still there. They all realized me repeating the question to each of them, and asked why i was asking such a random question. i calmly responded "There is a band aid in my chicken nuggets."

Personal Statement

A chilling sensation swept through my body as though it hit every last nerve ending all at once. I still do not know how my stomach did not burst open, as it felt like it was contorting in ways I did not think humanly possible. My heart hit the inside of my chest with what seemed like increasing intensity with every single beat. As all these feelings were escalating, I suddenly realized that I wanted this more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. This was it. This was my time.

Moments early the whole team had been in the locker room, all equally filled with excitement and anxiety. As Melissa, our coach, drew out plays and tactics on the chalk board, all were silent, hanging on to every last word that fell from her lips in hopes that each syllable would give us one more little push towards our goal. Then as she seemed to have gone over everything possible, there was a pause. This pause seemed to last forever, when she said “Are you guys ready?”

We were ready. The past three months were all in preparation for this day. From tryouts to now, starting out with a group of girls who all had little in common, except for one love, the love of the game. Coming together as a team; building one unit out of a group of twenty individuals, all coming together in hopes of reaching one goal, the state title. Game after game went by, victory after victory, seeming to make our goal more attainable. Then state came around, and we were still winning. This is when I finally knew we were going to do it; we were going to attain our goal. We had made it this far and there was no stopping us now.

Once the game finally was under way, the chilling sensation, nauseated stomach, and intense heart beating turned into a pure, driven focus. No way was I going to let my nerves hinder me, but instead it turned into an adrenaline rush that consumed me. As the game continued on, it did not leave me. It did not stop for one moment; it tuned out all distractions. Time seemed to go by so slowly, when finally, it seemed like it took ages for this moment to come about, the final whistle was blown. Our goal was now reality. We were the WIAA 1A High school Girls Soccer State Champions.

All that we had worked for had finally paid off. Coming together as a team, putting in all the time through out practices and what seemed like endless fitness was all worth it. The adrenaline rush that consumed me now exploded as if fireworks were shooting off through me and all around me. I never wanted to lose that feeling.

I knew from that moment on, that I never wanted to give up on anything. I am determined to always give my all, cause if it will bring me anywhere even close to that feeling that I experienced that day, I know it is worth it. I have learned to expect the best out of myself, and always reach for high goals. I also know how important it is to encourage those around you to work their hardest and set their goals. People will try to tear you down, but you got to have faith in yourself, and never let them kill your drive. If I work for something and set my mind to it, I know that I will come through. I never give up, even when it seems hard, because I know it is worth it at the end. People told us that winning state was far fetched, to high to set our goal, “maybe you should just try and make it to quarter finals.” Well people were wrong, weren’t they?