hero's cycle - companions/trials

Life is moving so fast right now. I feel like everyhting has changed this year, and still is in the process of changing. I feel like this is evident in most aspects of my life, but more so in the relationships with the people around me.
Coming back to school for senior year, i had high hopes for what would transpire. And honestly, those high hopes have no where been near to how this year is going so far. Everyone has changed since last year. I'm not saying everyone is changing for the worst, they just changed, or are in thre process of changing. With these changes, some friend groups have changed. I'm pretty much still friends with all the same people, but not all of them are really still my friends. The atmosphere is just different now. It is uncomfortable;uncomfortable because we are all trying to adjust to these differences. Though they may be slight, it is still almost unsettling. I felt so close with certain people last year, that i feel so distanced from this year. I try and put on a smile as i walk by them in the hall, a sarcastic remark in class, or jokes here and there at the lunch table, but i just don't feel those same connections anymore. Something is in the connections have altered.like We are being slowly pulled apart from eachother,and i have no control over it. It's like gravity is pulling them further away from me, slowly out of my reach. Why can't i hold on? Or can i hold on? I feel like if it keeps going like this, i'm going to lose hold of what connections i have. I could lose grasp, and i don't like thinking of what that will mean for the future.
There are a couple of people who don't have that changed and uncomfortable feeling about them, one who sticks out atleast. We have been there for eachother, through some interesting situations over the past year specifically, and all through highschool really. But because of some changes, i do feel distanced from her this year. I am being pulled in two directions all at once. I am basically under shared custody, having to split my time as evenly as possible between two people. It may sound so silly, but even picking where i sit in certain settings has to be monitored and evenly divided through a week. Who i talk to in the hall, who i sit by at lunch, every time i choose to do anything, i have to pick one over the other. It's emotionally draining. It may sound like i am being hard on myself, but i know each decision affects atleast one of the two, though i'm sure it affects both.
About a year ago, this would not even be close to an issue. All three of us were pretty much inseperable. That's why this is so heart breaking. Seeing the two of them together in one spot is so hard to watch now. When i am with one of them, as i see the other looking at us, i can see her hurting. It kills me to watch my best friend whose been by my side for so long feel excluded, as if she can not come up and join because she feels uncomfortable and unwanted by the other. Even when they are together, i can feel the tension. Sure, sometimes it is better than others, but those times feel somewhat like a facade. It is not even close to the way it used to be. I am being torn up emotionally all over the place. I have tried so hard to fix it, but i am starting to believe i can't. It is the worse to have to watch all this hurt and suffering, and feel this hurt and suffering, and not be able to do anything about it. I have no control over the situation. I can just encourage reconcilitaion as often as possible. One hopes for it as well, the other undecided. The undecided hurts the one with hope; the longer she waits, the more the other hurts; the further i am torn;the more pain i feel for the hurt; the harder it is to encourage her; the harder it is to understand the undecided;the more i am concerned about the outcome. What if there is no reconciliation? Will this be the rest of my senior year? Will I be under shared custody until college? I'm scared i will begin to despise them for pulling me back and forth constantly. How long can i hold in the middle? Will i have to choose one for my own emotional stability? Should i just detach my self from the both of them, and slowly drift away from our attachments?I could just choose neither of them. I would not have to worry about who i sat by, or talked to, or had lunch with. That could be my easy way out, to just not care anymore; not make it my problem. But i know i can not do that. It would not be fair to them, and i care about them too much. I have made it this far on not giving up, i can't leave now. I just don't know how i am going to be able to keep this up as it tears me up so much.
Everything is off relationally this year. My friends mean so much to me, which i always thought to be a good thing. But now i have to wonder, because i consider my friendships to be so important, is that what is going to ruin me this year? Sadly, i can only leave it up for time to tell.